Despite what the old grooner says, one is not the loneliest number. If anything, it’s the most fun number. Trust us, we’re the singles experts.
THE FUN OF FLYING SOLO
Don’t confuse being alone with being lonely, because they are two different things. The way we see it, being single means having endless opportunities for a fun, fully lived life. Here are some f riendly reminders of why you should embrace the single lifestyle.
The ultimate plus side of being single is that there’s no one nagging you and breathing down your neck. Imagine going out with whomever you want to, till whatever you want
to, till whatever time you want to, without anyone texting (or worse calling) you every five minutes to check up on you and ask, “Who is that guy putting his arm around you on your Instagram story?” or “Who is that girl whose Instagram picture you just liked?”
THE WORLD IS YOUR OYSTER
Not tying yourself down to anyone else means you still have the privilege to choose. If this world is a candy shop, imagine you can take any candy you want. Different candy for each day? No problem. We personally think it’s impossible to get the right taste from any single candy. That’s why we say go for lots!
MO’ MONEY NO’ PROBLEM
Let that hefty paycheck go straight into your back account go shopping at Sephora or scoop up those LEGO bricks, we’re not judging. Either way, the money is yours and yours only. Remember your deadbeat ex-boyfriend who lived off you? Now you’re free from those kinds of pests!
COMPROMISE NO MORE
Have you ever pretended to like some obscure, leftist band whose songs you couldn’t sing along to just to please your partner? Have you laughed at corny comedians just because that’s what your boyfriend/girlfriend did? Trust us, we’ve been there. But it’s over. And there’s nothing more liberating than knowing we don’t have to watch those interpretive theatrical plays ever again!
Guys, without the ball and chain, you can grow your hair as long as you please. You don’t have to look like David Beckham, because there’s no one to tell you to! That should save you a trip to an overpriced barbershop. And girls, let’s be honest, no one likes those regular waxing sessions. So while no one’s visiting, feel free to grow your garden au naturel.
Do you know couples who wear not just matching clothes but identical ones? Or who call each other by nauseating nicknames in public? Or even worse who baby-talk to each other? Now, we don’t blame them, since love does make you do crazy stuff – being committed is totally a double entendre. But by being single you save yourself from this laughable lunacy. Think about it.
Yes, we know being single is awesome. But that doesn’t mean you should lock yourself indoors and become a hermit. Sometimes you need to be single less and mingle more.
Who are you kidding? No one loves their job that much. Well, probably one of those Kardashians does, but that’s beside the point. When you start to voluntarily work overtime and claim through a saccharine sweet smile that you love your job, it’s time to take that drink offer.
Talking to your dog – or your 12 cats – is like drinking coffee in the morning; it’s normal. But when you start having in depth conversations with Siri – or any other intelligent personal assistant – beyond simple requests like “where is the nearest warung ayam betutu?” or “play the last Bowie album”, you know you need to get out of the house more. Have you watched “Her”? It’s not exactly a Cinderella Story.
You can’t remember what your favourite fast food restaurant looks like, but you’re on first- name terms with the delivery guy – that’s a red flag. And when you start having Wagyu steak with truffle-mashed potatoes and lobster thermidor delivered to your door, it’s about time you ditch the sweatpants for the cocktail dress, darling.
CHILL ON NETFLIX
If your idea of a conversation on current affairs involves which royal sister is sleeping with which brother on “Game Of Thrones”, man, you should turn the TV off ! You know you can’t “Netflix and chill” all by yourself, don’t you?
THE BIRDS ARE THE BEES
If you think tossing the salad and tea bagging are things old ladies do at lunch, you’ve probably had both sides of the bed to yourself for too long. If you’ve forgotten when the last time you had sex was, you definitely need to get lucky.
You can let your past go, you can let all the hassles in your life go, but one thing you can’t let go is yourself. Just because you have all the freedom in the world doesn’t mean you have to look like a dirty slob. If you find yourself wearing a novelty t-shirt to a nice dinner, or acne cream to the supermarket, go get help from civilisation!
We know it’s easier to choose dates by sideways-swiping photos on an online dating app, but let’s face it, more often than not those apps have more weirdos than “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”. So let’s do it the old-fashioned way, by actually going out!
clubs and bars are good training grounds for getting your charm on. After a few drinks, inhibition is magically replaced by self confidence- or blind bravery, you choose. Truth is, 90% of the people in these places are on the prowl and looking for other singles to have fun with. So it should be easy.
La Favela Jl. Laksamana Oberoi 177X, Seminyak, T: +62 361 730 010
Vacationing one-night-stand potentials, drinking (and/or f *cking) buddies, grinding girls/guys.
Something comfortable enough to dance in, but attractive enough to draw attention. Don’t overdress or you’ll look like a street walker. But skip the flip-flop sandals because the bouncer will turn you away.
Friday and Saturday nights are the safest bet.
This island is not only a paradise for surfers looking for the perfect wave, but also for those who are looking to create waves of their own with those ribbed, tanned beach beauties.
Single Fin Blue Point, Uluwatu, T:+62 361 769 941, singlefinbali.com; or Old Man’s Batu Bolong, Canggu, T: +62 361 846 9158
Are we not being clear enough? Beautiful beach bodies, sultry surfers, and the like!
Effortless beach wear that makes you look like Kate Bosworth in “Blue Crush”
Sunday afternoon for Single Fin’s famous Sunday sessions – or what we like to call the meat market. Old Man’s also has great Sunday sessions and beer pong and other shenanigans on Wednesdays.
PICKING UP PROFESSIONALS
Who says that you shouldn’t mix work with pleasure? We know that a co-working space isn’t the ideal place to hook up, but it’s great for meeting people with creative minds.
Who knows, you could go from swapping ideas to swapping something else.
Hubud Jl. Monkey forest 88X, Ubud, T: +62 361 978 073, hubud.org
Young, open-minded, creative types who will make you feel lame for choosing a career in banking.
You can’t dress more appropriately than smart-casual.
Check out Hubud’s website for special events schedules, like Bali Bungkus or Social Hour.
READY TO MINGLE
Single’s Starter Pack What You Need For A Night Out Mingling
(or more than one) who is ready to hook you up with a potential babe, leave you alone when it’s going great, steer you clear of drunken and desperate hook-ups, and provide you with a believable, urgent excuse if you have to leave the premises.
A KILLER LIPSTICK
Chances are you will need to re-apply the vampy shade after a few rounds of beer or snogging session.
A NICE SCENT
Bali’s scorching temperature can make it hard to stay fresh all day, so it’s always good to have a change of clothes and your personal choice of fragrance ready. Having said that, we never recommend dousing yourself in Axe, no matter what the funny ads say.
A single’s night out can ultimately lead to a Volvo filled with soccer-playing kids, so you had better have those condoms ready. Yes, there is the morning-after pill, but it can be a hormonal hassle for the ladies. So let’s just keep this one as a back-up.
A GOOD MOOD AND A LOW EXPECTATION
If you don’t score on your first night out after a long hibernation, don’t give up. All that matters is that you’re having fun. Dance the night away and show the world what
A GETAWAY CAR
be it your own, or Uber’s – always comes in handy to avoid the dreadful morning-after walk of shame. But then again, as the role model of singleness Liz Lemon from “30 Rock” says, “Come on, ‘walk of shame’? I say call it a ‘stride of pride’ and walk with your arms up like this!”