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Sex and The Island

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Subject 01

Singles just wanna have fun and the island is the perfect place to be single and ready to be mingle. The entire ocean is here. There is an endless supply of single men and single women coming to this island every week. HA, a fabulous single woman in her late twenties, admits that she devoted her weekends to dating and more often than not it leads to sex. “Let’s be honest, dating is fun. You’re meeting someone for the first time, you get to flirt with him, finding out about each other, sharing a good time, and when you’re lucky and you hit it off, fantastic shag,” explains HA.

The dating application also makes it easier to meet people. “Before, you have to do it the old-fashioned way. Hit a bar or a club and openly flirt with someone that you fancy. I still love the old-fashioned way but a direct match also makes it easier. No mixed signal or dubious gender preference,” explains HA whose favourite dating place includes night clubs in Seminyak and beach clubs in Uluwatu. Chemistry is an important factor in her decision on how to end the night. “I also prefer to do it at my place so I don’t have to get a cab at midnight or do the walk of shame on the next day,” admits the woman who has been single for the last five years and still enjoy her singlehood because she is free to make her own decision and doesn’t have to report to anyone.

Of course, it occurred to her that there’s a dangerous factor in playing these dating games, namely, falling in love. “It happened to me once last year. He was here for three weeks and we spent so much time together. To be fair, he didn’t promise me anything but heart wants what it wants, right? He was exactly my type and the sex was amazing. He’s a giver! I was pretty devastated when he left. We tried to prolong it for a while but it didn’t work out. He was there, I am here,” says HA.

The petit beauty also admits that Bali offers her a certain sexual freedom that she couldn’t get in her hometown. “Here, nobody knows me. I wouldn’t bump into an uncle or nosy family acquaintances. I am free to explore my sensuality as a woman and for that I am grateful to this island,” states HA before a ‘ting’ from her smartphone signalled that she just got matched with someone.

“Let’s be honest, dating is fun. You’re meeting someone for the first time, you get to flirt with him, finding out about each other, sharing a good time, and when you’re lucky and you hit it off, fantastic shag”

Subject 02

BD is a freelance writer and content creator that has been living together with his partner in the past year. Although not his first serious relationship, BD admitted that this is the first one that did not start with sex. Funny, considering how they met – through a dating app, but didn’t start dating until after BD moved to the island. But this one seem to be a catalyst for something more serious. “This got me thinking that the conservative view on sex before marriage may have got it right. The absence of sex in the beginning of my relationship made room for actual openness and it actually made the sex even better. Because you have the time to process and learn to differentiate lust and love, plus you have this built up desires that get to release at the end,” he explained. So, during this relationship, BD realised that sex is important, but not the most important. And it seems that his state of love lifeis ready for a bigger thing. He’s always dreamed of being married to the person he hold dear to his heart, build a life together and have family together. Not to go into the details about technicality, he also knows for sure that for a gay couple to be married in this current society would be close to impossible and would take a biblical amount of work – but BD has his hopes, and longs for those days to become reality. Whether it’s with his current boyfriend or not, time will tell.

Yet before all that, he still thinks he needs to improve whatever he’s having with his partner right now. “Personally, I think relationship is constant work,” he elaborated. ere’s always a learning curve just when things seem to make them feel content and satis-ed enough. He emphasizes in the signi-cance of communication – something that he admits both them needs to enhance more. And that also goes in the bedroom department.

Not that saying that his sex life is not good, though. BD speci-cally said it’s, “more than satisfying,” before bursting into laughter – probably to ease the awkwardness of the question. For someone who says there’s room for improvement, that’s mighty good news.As for an ideal date for him right now is traveling together to a destination they both have never been to – they probably have a bucket list of places they want to do it all over the world. Hey, aren’t we all?

Subject 03

There are two kind of married life: the happy one or the illmatched one. Lucky for GM and DA, theirs is a happy one. The lovely couple has been married for six years and have one active little boy. Their story started when DA commented on GM’s artwork in a now defunct social media platform. They eventually met and decided to go out on dates. It took them two years to finally decide to commit. “Our families get along well and we love each other. I could picture myself creating a family with him,” explains DA. She immediately got pregnant afterward and had to cancel the honeymoon plan. “I think it is important that you’re on the same page and in one team. We are not just a husband and a wife. We are also a father, a mother, supporter of each other’s career, and best friends,” says GM. e beautiful thing about this married couple is that they can always share a laugh and more oen than not, they love picking fun at each other’s expenses. “I am an extrovert while my husband is an extreme introvert. I always -nd it easy to make small talks. He struggles in that department but when he says something, it is usually very out of the box and just so funny,” explains DA while poking fun at her husband. How about the sex? Marital sex is oen being ridiculed for the lack of it. “We do have sex but we call it making love,” states GM, teasingly. Laughingly, DA adds: “Well, yes, compared to when we were singles, the frequency might have decreases. However, we love the intimacy and the knowing of each other’s bodies. I know what he likes and he knows where to touch me.” Admittedly, the focus of this small family is with the boy although they try to make time to do things as a couple. It has its own challenges but they admit that it is vital to do so. “I think the best part of my day is to be able to sit down and tell each other stories,” says DA who confesses that she still needs time to be alone and do her own things like getting her nails done or shopping. Her husband supports her statement. “Yes, we agree to give each other’s space to socialize, hang out with our friends and have time to do our own things. Never forget that although you’re a couple, at the same time you’re also an individual,” adds GM.

Subject 03

A divorcee for quite some time now, AH is probably one of the strongest women we’ve known. We needn’t to tell you the backstory of her separation, because other than it was pretty rough, it’s what shaped AH into the fierce woman that she is right now. And as a reward for her fight going through all that, she’s in a loving relationship in the past three years – one that she describes as, “I still powder my nose whenever I am about to see him, so I think that’s a good thing.” She’s also not complaining that it’s a long distance relationship. “We see each other once a month for like four to five days”, AH told us, “and the sex is amazing.” “Technology helps,” she elaborated later. AH and her boyfriend is experimenting with sex toys every now and then, and their current favourite is a device that could be operated through an app by both parties – perfect for couples separated miles away. It also gives her excitement whenever they’re about to meet. Distance gives them more room for talking, including things that would turn each other on. And no surprise from a cultured girl like AH, she likes this exploring things even better.

“You know all these hormones your body produces after orgasms? That thing do wonders to your skin, and well your approach in everyday life. It’s science.”

The couple sometimes find things that are sexy in places you wouldn’t have thought about. Films, books, even music – and not the dirty ones. e English Patient and Eyes Wide Shut are a couple of examples that AH gave me, adding that making love while “Fool’s Gold” by e Stone Roses playing is a satisfying ecstasy trip. AH says that great sex aects her happiness as well. “You know all these hormones your body produces aer orgasms? at thing do wonders to your skin, and well your approach in everyday life. It’s science.” But should this perfect love and lust correspondence needs to be upgraded, what would it be? “To live in the same city – at least,” she answered. Not necessarily under the same roof just yet, but at least no hassles about booking and taking an airplane trip when needed. She felt content at the moment, enjoying the space she has and not rushing to play house – something that she knows well could be tricky. In her own words, don’t -x what’s not broken. Right now, AH said she’s just enjoying the loneliness when it stings. And besides, distance would help sexually – “e synced up sex used a lot of internet quota,” she closed with a witty smirk.


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